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George W. Bush: Illseed’s Person of the Year

January 1, 2009

G.W. Bush: Illseed’s Person of the Year

By illseed

Once again, illseed picks the “Illseed Person of the Year.”

That person is none other than G.W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States of America.


I won’t be long with this dissertation, but I have thought long and hard about this decision.

As you know, most publications such as Time and Ebony have deemed the history-making Barack Obama as their Person of the Year. And, guess what? They are absolutely correct, because Obama is the a phenomenon most of us never thought we’d see in our lifetime. But the Illseed Person of the Year defies convention, as you may have realized over the years.

G.W. Bush is the Person of the Year, according to illseed.

Why? Here is why.

First of all, Bush’s screwed up, two-term presidency created the dire conditions that softened the nation to Barack Obama’s incredible message of “Change.” Without the stench of the last eight years, there is no real reason for an Obama-type, a harbinger of revolution. Even Obama recognized that he was amidst a perfect storm that presented circumstances that would never present themselves again. That’s why Obama ran when others told him to wait!

Dubya must be commended for putting John McCain, O’s opposition, in a ditch before he could even start to campaign for the highest position in the nation. A few years ago, Bush decimated McCain with the help of Karl Rove (also known affectionately as “Bush’s Brain”) and then McCain thought being down with Bush was a redeeming career trait. Not. So Bush is the primary reason the war vet was dusted off by Obama, aside from his own screw-up’s like picking Sarah Palin as his running mate and failing to create a cohesive campaign message.

Bush helped bring the nation together as much as he helped to divide it. By the end of the eight years…we were unified as hell, by and large. Some people took their blinders off and gave “change” a shot. Others let got of old baggage and assumed more forward-thinking notions.

Here is a notion you probably haven’t heard from illseed. I actually think G.W. Bush is probably a riot, fun sort of guy outside of mismanaging the nation. I mean, dude is too funny! Obviously the comedians have had a ball for the duration of his dictatorship, but if you want endless entertainment, just look at footage of Bush. Take the reaction to the shoe-throwing incident at the hands of an Iraqi journalist. “All I can report is it is a size 10,” he said as a joke. Classic reply, admit it. If only I went to college with Bush and he was the life of the party…not the president.

Question: Have you ever been tortured? I have in different ways and that’s not a play on the improprieties of some of our military men. Let it be known that there is no greater relief than when the torture stops. In fact, when the pain does stop, the torturee (yes, torturee) tends to thank the torturer for ending the agony. I think of Katrina. I think of September 11. I think of the war in Iraq, which Bush admitted he wasn’t ready for. I think of the present economic crisis, which has fallen on his watch. This is why G.W. Bush gets the nod as the “Illseed Person of the Year!” The torture has stopped!

Thanks, Dubya!

George Bush now joins the ranks of the honorable Will Smith, the legendary MC Hammer and others, who I admire. Like them, he’ll never be forgotten. Unlike them, he’ll be remembered all the wrong reasons.

“And President Bush so hated/ He went to Iraq and almost got a-shoe-sinated.” – Skillz, rap artist.

Epilogue: I admit the true person of the year is Barack Obama, but nobody is really giving Bush the credit he deserves for creating the climate for this to occur. Thanks, duder.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. taz288 permalink
    January 1, 2009 7:06 am

    I fill like a dipsh@@ thinking Bernie Mac. Although I would have never in a zillion years guessed GW but, atfer reading your reasons why I understand.

  2. January 1, 2009 7:22 am

    its always an unlikely person or

  3. arabesi00 permalink
    January 1, 2009 4:56 pm

    Either you plagiarized that whole thing, or you really sat down and wrote something for once. If its the later, then it was a step up in writing from the usual spelling and grammatical errors you drop daily.

  4. January 1, 2009 5:04 pm

    arabesi00 – my friend, you obviously are only familiar with one part of what I do. hopefully we’ll fix that in the future. this is a good start.

  5. January 1, 2009 5:38 pm

    Yo….excellent post. Even though you’re quite the kidder, this is some very sound reasoning.

  6. eastpaloalto permalink
    January 2, 2009 6:35 am

    arabesi00 is an a**hole – why even comment? what a waste of energy – do you ill ! its cold in the “D” !

  7. January 2, 2009 9:52 pm

    You should make a post about Hitler next and claim him great for bringing everyone together against facism. Thanks for creating that climate!

  8. Ten $ Shades permalink
    January 4, 2009 2:20 am

    Illseed, you know you went left-field with this one, but it makes total sense to me.
    This crazy mofo made the USA an ongoing joke. Sometimes watching bush speak
    was like watching a comedy, but the punchline was never funny……
    Just disastrous.

  9. Andrew Yu-Jen Wang permalink
    March 3, 2009 11:13 pm

    Speaking of George W. Bush:

    George W. Bush committed hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism (indicated in my blog).

    George W. Bush did in fact commit innumerable hate crimes.

    And I do solemnly swear by Almighty God that George W. Bush committed other hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism which I am not at liberty to mention.

    Many people know what Bush did.

    And many people will know what Bush did—even to the end of the world.

    Bush was absolute evil.

    Bush is now like a fugitive from justice.

    Bush is a psychological prisoner.

    Bush has a lot to worry about.

    Bush can technically be prosecuted for hate crimes at any time.

    In any case, Bush will go down in history in infamy.

    Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang
    B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
    Messiah College, Grantham, PA
    Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993

    I am not sure where I had read it before, but anyway, it is a linguistically excellent statement, and it goes kind of like this: “If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memory so it never got stale and faded.” Oh wait—off the top of my head—I think the quotation came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.

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