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June 10, 2008

illseed and jermaine dupri

10 Reasons Jermaine Dupri must be a Leprechaun a.k.a. The Luckiest Little Man in Hip Hop

By Charlamagne Tha God

10) Money Ain’t a Thing Video – This video was all the Luck of the Leprechaun.  Using his Leprechaun luck, a phone book, and pedal extensions, he was lucky enough to be able to reach the pedals of those hot ass cars he was driving in this video.  This video did a lot for the Leprechauns image and had him mentioned in the same breath as Sean Combs, but only when people said damn JD trying to be like Puffy.

9) Kris Kross – This was one of the Leprechauns first pots of gold.  He was lucky enough to discover two childhood friends, Chris Kelly and Chris Smith in 1991 at an Atlanta shopping mall.  Dupri thought the two “looked like a rap group” and proceeded to gas these twelve-year olds to wear their clothes backwards.  There debut album “Totally Krossed Out” went 4 xs platinum in the US and to this day nobody really knows why?  I also always wondered if he encouraged them to wear there boxers backwards?  If he did, with the hole in the back instead of the front, their album should have been called “Totally Assed Out”.

8) Whoever introduced him to Bow Wow – In 1998 at the age of eleven, Bow Wow was introduced to JD who sprinkled a little Leprechaun luck on Bow Wow’s young career.  Now I don’t know who introduced Bow Wow to the Leprechaun but half of this pot of gold should have gone to them.  Nobody gave a damn about Slow Slow Death in 1998.  I mean nobody cares now, but they where damn near dead then.  It was rumored that Bow Wow was a Leprechaun, but nobody would really knew until he got older. Those rumors have been shot down now that he’s older because he’s too tall to be a Leprechaun and has established himself pretty well in the music and film industry (without the Leprechaun’s assistance).

7) His Braids – JD was lucky enough to wear cornrows years after going bald.  This combined with his natural Leprechaun height kept up his youthful appearance so he didn’t look like Bow Wow’s vertically challenged father in Bow Wow’s videos.

6) Da Brat – Now this is when rumors of JD being a lucky little Leprechaun really started.  He swagger jacked Snoop and reincarnated his style in the form of a female MC and Da Brat was born.  Even though much better MCs like Queen Latifah and MC Lyte came before her and had commercial and critical success none of them ever went platinum, but Da Brat did.  She was the first female solo artist to ever go platinum. The Leprechaun strikes again.

5) The Street Single – This is what Greg Street was talking about when he said the Leprechaun was a BDS A&R.  He goes and grabs pots of gold that are already out there and claims them as his own for example: Bone Crusher (Neva Scared), J-Kwon (Tipsy), Youngbloodz (Damn), Franchise Boys (I think They Like Me) and Rocko (Umma Do Me).  A deaf man could hear these where going to be hits, but JD was lucky enough to sign these artists at key periods in Slow Slow Deaths existence.  These records have served as life support for a label that should have been dead years ago.

4) Michael Mauldin – The Leprechauns father and former President of Columbia Records.  What, you thought JD worked his way into the game?  No!  He was lucky enough to get handed his position in the game.  This explains why he doesn’t really have an ear for talent most of his artist where introduced to him by someone else (see # 8) or they where more gimmick than talent i.e., Kris Kross, Da Brat and Bow Wow, or they already had a single buzzing (see # 5) and JD just stamped So So Def on it and called it his own.  Who needs an ear for talent when your father was a president for a major record label?  Lucky bastard!

3) The Emancipation of Mimi – Mariah Carey’s comeback record went 6 xs platinum, fueled by the singles “It’s Like That”, “We Belong Together” and “Shake it Off”, all co produced and co written by JD.  This had to be the luck of the Leprechaun (see # 2).

2) Janet Jackson – This is the moment when people realized JD was not human, but was an actual real live Leprechaun living among us.  How did he bag Janet Jackson?  The Luck of the Leprechaun!! This is how we know the Emancipation of Mimi was pure leprechaun luck because he had two chances to bring Janet back with 20 Y.O. and Discipline and couldn’t do it.  He used all his pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers to bag Janet in the first place.  He had no more luck left as far as she was concerned to make pots of gold appear at the end of the rainbows of her last two albums.

1) DJs playing Slow Slow Death Records – If it wasn’t for the DJ, not one record JD produced or wrote would have ever been played!  If it wasn’t for the DJ, Da Brat and Bow Wow would be nobodies!  If it wasn’t for the DJ, he would have never established the So So Def DJs even though we know he did this just to have a coalition of people to force his latest batch of hot garbage down the world’s throats!  Now since his, “The DJ is dead” comments, the Leprechaun’s luck has run out.  The DJ has no reason to support a mediocre talent, with a mediocre roster of artist and a very mediocre label.  R.I.P. to the Leprechaun’s career, sadly it was already dying a Slow Slow Death.

45 Comments leave one →
  1. June 10, 2008 7:55 pm


  2. Micah permalink
    June 11, 2008 11:16 am

    HaHa, this sounds like Greg Street wrote this, hilarious

  3. June 11, 2008 11:48 am

    it is wack

  4. June 11, 2008 12:14 pm

    Damn, this nigga must be a professional hater!

  5. Franchise permalink
    June 11, 2008 12:16 pm

    Snoop introduced Wow Bow to JD

  6. JimBob Jones permalink
    June 11, 2008 1:16 pm

    Lol, what a hater….damn give him some credit.

  7. Del permalink
    June 11, 2008 1:17 pm

    Wow!!!! LMAO……He used all his pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers to bag Janet in the first place….. Sorry but southern ni**az are always puttin their foot in their mouths…… lmao lmao lmao

  8. June 11, 2008 1:57 pm

    That’s hella funny! & TRUE tho

  9. Mistah Jo permalink
    June 11, 2008 2:02 pm

    LMAO!!!!!!!! Lucky Lil Leprechaun. I didnt know Daddy gave him his golden ticket which has finally or should I say hopefully has expired! And the “Lil One” said he is a better producer than Dr. Dre and Timbaland (LMAO). Great article!!

  10. Chronic Fatigue permalink
    June 11, 2008 3:28 pm

    charlamagne is the last dude on earth who should talking about being a lucky leprechaun.

  11. johhny nueuz permalink
    June 11, 2008 4:01 pm

    You forget about Usher’s Confessions 10x platinum JD strikes big with that album too

  12. Chris permalink
    June 11, 2008 5:24 pm

    sounds like a bitter female or some jealous ass dude to me, if you read between the lines he just mad cause JD got more money, in a better position and he bangin Janet

  13. DaggaMan permalink
    June 11, 2008 5:46 pm

    Damn JD! I never looked at it like that but it all seems to be true. It’s crazy how Mariah went 6x’s platinum and Janet went double Wacknum, I mean isn’t that your girl son?

  14. June 11, 2008 5:46 pm

    Charlamagne has issues himself. He’s always running his mouth about someone. I really don’t pay mind to anything he has to say and am glad that the Wendy Williams show is no longer broadcast in Tampa. He spews a lot of hate.

  15. The Letter P permalink
    June 11, 2008 6:09 pm

    Thats funny.. but.. as much as hip hop hates jermaine, he deserves his credit as a song writer and producer.. If he remained more of a low key guy, he would have a lot more respect in the game..

    Im not a big JD fan, but I would be a fool to overlook his accomplishments and dismiss them as “lucky”.. you dont last this long in the game (especially when nobody likes you), based on luck alone..

    luck plays a small part of it, but trust me, the dude is talented.. If everyone could write hits, then everyone would be writing hits!

  16. June 11, 2008 6:28 pm

    dam!!!!! that shit was hilarious and since he put it like that dam it got some facts to it but man i cryed laughing..

  17. iyonah permalink
    June 11, 2008 6:30 pm

    this is hilarious …Charlamagne you are the reason I listen to WBLS …. lol

  18. rypola permalink
    June 11, 2008 6:33 pm

    snoop introduce bow woo to jd.

  19. rypola permalink
    June 11, 2008 6:36 pm

    snoop introduce bow wowto jd.

  20. DZ of WestAurora permalink
    June 11, 2008 6:39 pm

    hahahahahaha so true

  21. vincentlopez permalink
    June 11, 2008 7:22 pm



  22. Jay Curtis permalink
    June 11, 2008 7:33 pm

    “Confessions” should be on the list too.

  23. June 11, 2008 7:39 pm

    i like JD…he’s a total winner. his track record and longevity in the game speaks for itself

  24. June 11, 2008 8:28 pm

    Who tha fucc is Charlamagne anyway????? What the hell kind of name is “Charlamagne” for a dude anyway. Bitch you ain’t NUTHIN but Tranny Williams sidekick…..SIDEKICK fool!!! it’s easy for someone to come out tha ass with some fucc shyt like this but what about all the hits JD DOES have. Damn near if not ALL of Usher’s major hits came from who????? JD And last time I checked Usher was an International Superstar and Confessions changed the R&B game. Confessions had ALLLLL these R&B niggaz shook and runnin back to da booth. So keep sippin on that hateraide SIDEKICK cause that’s the ONLY you and Tranny Williams are good for!!!!! i

  25. The Galboy permalink
    June 11, 2008 9:39 pm

    double wacknum!lmao

  26. ExtendedKicks permalink
    June 11, 2008 9:39 pm

    This some funny shit coming from a nigga who name sound like a knock off brand of champagne. All of it couldn’t have been luck, he would have ran out of money long ago if he aint have at least some sort of clue what to do. respect is due, but not demanded.

  27. yungwun permalink
    June 11, 2008 10:19 pm

    2) Janet Jackson – This is the moment when people realized JD was not human, but was an actual real live Leprechaun living among us. How did he bag Janet Jackson?

    lol that shit had me crackin up!

  28. WHAT!!! permalink
    June 11, 2008 10:34 pm

    I know this dude ain’t talkin’… have to agree with Chronic Fatigue…

    “charlamagne is the last dude on earth who should be talking about being a lucky leprechaun”

  29. streetetiquette permalink
    June 11, 2008 11:52 pm

    shut the fuck up .. i think jds next group is ive seen it on allhiphop and shit

  30. Q Hova permalink
    June 12, 2008 12:12 am

    only us black people hate on each other like this. sounds like u want his sucess, money, and woman. you dont see white people cutting each other down like this. when did hating become cool?

  31. young hart permalink
    June 12, 2008 12:25 am

    i swear niggas talk to f*ckin much… for some reason it’s always broke ni**as lookin’ up throwin’ rocks in the sky… you never see at ni**a on top lookin’ down other to than to shit on haters… i actually hate bloggin cause niggas always wanna seem tougher than what they are keep it real, the internet has allowed bitch niggas a place in the world…

    • July 22, 2009 3:44 am

      U soooo rite… (Young Hart) 2 the dude sayin the internet has allowed bitch ass niggas a place in the world! Lol n rite about u always see broke ass nothn ass niggas hatin u never see a nigga on top lookin down hatin…well maybe besides JayZ with death of that was weird…lol but anyway back 2 the subject that was real n Young Hart a real ass nigga U can Tell! I fucks wit cha!!!!

  32. antihater permalink
    June 12, 2008 12:31 am

    I’m not even the biggest fan of JD, but whoever wrote this needs a hug. Its funny at times, but by the time you get to number 3 or 4, its kinda sad that someone is this big of a hater. someones feelings were obviously a little hurt by the dj comment. here’s an idea, stop being a bitch and if you mad stop playing his records.

  33. james permalink
    June 12, 2008 4:11 am

    that article was hilarious! the slow slow death and about him ” force his latest batch of hot garbage down the world’s throats” whoever wrote this article, keep it coming!

  34. June 12, 2008 5:29 am

    Its a satirical column, its comedy, so take it as such. It was funny as hell and that was the point, so dont look at the reasons behind the comments, just enjoy the jokes.

  35. The Diirt permalink
    June 12, 2008 7:00 am

    Ehh he’s fuckin around obviously. Take a joke and Quit takin shit to heart. Maybe you can disslike a dude and not be a hater. Dont front and start namin off JDs track record like youre his fuckin #1 groupie / assistant. Are you on the So So Def street team? Let a cat make you laugh and quit talkin like oohhhh its money its money cuz u start soundin like a hater yaself.

  36. The Diirt permalink
    June 12, 2008 7:03 am

    Charlemagne means Charles the Great and he was king of the Franks, so im guessin this guys name is Charles and he thinks hes some war mastermind or conquerer. sure pal

  37. June 12, 2008 2:14 pm

    That’s really funny. Maybe he’s the leprechaun in the tree in Georgia? Youtube the video, it’s hysterical.

  38. lala permalink
    June 12, 2008 2:39 pm

    #2 was the funniest of em all. Im not the biggest J.D fan but he is talented tho cause the industry is to rough for somebody to stay relevelant for as long as J.D has. U gotta give him that

  39. June 13, 2008 12:18 am

    I am gonna go out and by some Dupri traps and catch him. Then I will get 3 wishes, right?

    • July 22, 2009 3:52 am

      lol funny! If u catch him send him my way 2 so I can make 3 wishes as well!!!! Lol lmao. I wonder if he was n that movie Leprachaun 3 back n the hood…bankhead baby!!! Lol

  40. June 13, 2008 1:08 am


  41. graphicsdeluxe permalink
    June 13, 2008 3:29 am

    Good stuff! Very funny

  42. Sugar Tits permalink
    June 13, 2008 2:04 pm

    LMAO!!!! Jus FYI johnny82, that was not Atl, that was Mobile Alabama……..Jus sayin

  43. June 13, 2008 2:27 pm

    GET HIM!!!! hahahahaha

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